Geneva's Story

"I never felt more validated than when I would get praise for looking skinny. You want the validation, and you’re getting it." Meet Geneva, 18, who struggled with anorexia beginning her junior year of high school. What she described above is the reality for almost 30 million Americans who struggle with disordered eating. But if we're being real, almost any woman can relate. Weight, nutrition, exercise, appearance: our culture is obsessed, and the cost is high. 

Geneva described how everything started small, as just a bad habit to feel a sense of control. "I started when I quit my high school sport. I was feeling lazy, so that’s why I started being super OCD about my food. I wasn’t trusting God when I had a hard day - instead, I started restricting and finding it rewarding. It was all to control a narrative when the rest felt out of control." During our discussion, I asked Geneva when she began to understand that food restriction was not just a bad habit, but an idol. "We live in a culture where everyone wants to be skinny,” said Geneva. “My whole life stopped, and I wasn’t doing normal things anymore. I wasn’t going to school or able to work out. Everything had to change before I was actually able to be okay." 

What it took for Geneva to ask for help was recognizing she couldn't fight her way out alone. "I realized I was miserable, and when you see how miserable you are in that cycle, you want help. I knew in my own power I couldn’t stop these harmful habits. I got to a point where I admitted to my school counselor I had an eating problem." 

As we unpacked the early stages of her recovery, Geneva highlighted the importance of community, even though reaching out was difficult. "I didn’t want anyone to know. It’s weird because you don’t want anyone to know, yet everyone knows." Having someone to talk to was key in the healing process. “I had to trust God and be grateful for the friends and community He placed in my life," she said. 

Another aspect of healing is allowing your body to adjust. "You are physically uncomfortable when you aren't used to eating. The biggest thing was having to be okay with gaining the weight back. I had to stay on my schedule of healing and do the opposite of my habit.” Geneva found comfort in a daily routine she shared with her mom. "Every day at breakfast, my mom spoke over me the Armor of God in Ephesians 6. When I was tempted to miss a snack or a meal, I had that to hold onto.” 

I asked Geneva to share some ways she has grown throughout her recovery journey. Courage came to mind. "I've been super brave through it all. A lot of people in this situation don’t tell or talk to anyone. I've seen a lot of bravery and boldness in my life." Geneva remarked that “a lot of people want to be free around a meal or the voice in their head,” and she emphasized the freedom that comes with healing and not having to identify with the eating disorder.  Geneva noticed she always felt comforted if she had a warm blanket to wear around the house. About halfway through her recovery, she founded Sun Still Shines to sell blankets, hoodies, and bracelets that bring awareness and spread love to the many girls who are silently struggling. 

I asked Geneva to tell me what she would share with other girls. She said, “I would emphasize that you should not carry any shame, and you can feel so loved in this situation because you are going to get through this.”

Geneva shared a verse that comes to mind when thinking about her journey: Psalm 46:5 “God is within her, she will not fall.” She believes that God speaks encouragement directly to women by reminding us that He empowers women to be resilient. 

Geneva, now a freshman in college, has a fresh perspective and dreams. She said, “With this beautiful life I have now, I want to just travel and meet people from amazing places – to be a witness for Christ and not just live in a bubble.” She closed with this thought when recounting her healing journey, “You get that spark back and trust in the Lord. When you aren't praised for your body but your personality, it’s so cool!